If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize