Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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