i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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