its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
