just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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