so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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