Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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