So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
