she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
