It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
