READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
