If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
