Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
