dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
