i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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