Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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