I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My life is pants optional.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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