i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
pray to the hookup gods
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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