Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just had sex on a roof
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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