Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.