Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
