The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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