all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
