So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
