Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize