She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
