You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
