we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize