also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
