she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
