She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize