need another drink. this is the easiest way
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
