Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I look excited, but its just a facade.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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