somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
