I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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