I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
