So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
