hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were trust falling into bushes
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
