so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
NoShamevember. You game?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just want to make out with him forever
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
