Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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