Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
