She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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