Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
