he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
