Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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