Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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