We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
