It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize