you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
