her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize