Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
