My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
