There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
