Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I pour the whiskey from now on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
