my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
