who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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