Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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