Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
