I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
