But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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